Johnskibeat's Journal

Sonic Dice

2008-01-18T15:43:44Z

Sonic Dice is a new website I've been working on. It's a dedicated dot com music site where I review gigs, albums and even interview bands. Please check it out and if you like it, mail me, comment me or grab a hold of the site feed.

Click here to roll those Sonic Dice...

Beer - I like, I buy.

2007-11-02T16:34:02Z

I've joined CAMRA. I have a beard. I drink real ale. No open-toed sandals as yet though.

--------
Johnski has rated 10 beers. Examples...
Milton Nero = 9
Greene King Swing Low = 7
South Hams Hopnosis = 7
Milton Sparta = 6
Potton Gold = 6

Lewis Hamilton: bus-driver

2007-10-19T12:09:49Z

There's a text on the BBC website that reads: "I can picture it now Lewis Hamilton driving a double decker through the streets of London while the rugby boys throw cup cakes at the South African embassy".

I think that just about sums up my hopes for this weekend of sporting action.

Let's get you back up to speed in 10 quick steps...
1. I won that poker tournament - £80 - on a diamond flush.
2. I'm now writing for Music-Zine aswell as Local Secrets and Big Cheese. It's keeping me pretty busy. Just reviewed the new Stereophonics album which should get the lead in the new MZ magazine.
3. Our library has finally got a lick of paint - the pot said terracotta, the walls say salmon. It's making me hungry.
4. Got a couple of beer festivals coming up which I should get into free as I'm now a member of CAMRA. Beer of the week = Ridley's Old Bob.
5. Still no outcome on my appeal for more pay. And this year's deadline for a regrading is now approaching again. Crazy.
6. Christmas is in the shops - it's pathetic, it's not even halloween for fuck's sake.
7. Spent a week in Eastbourne in a pretentious, bleak studio flat. If it wasn't for the company I think I may have thrown myself off Beachy Head.
8. The new TV series Heroes is awesome. I've blogged a review on my portfolio - you know where it is.
9. I've dicovered I'm allergic to wheat. Not sure if it's the gluten in the wheat or just the whole wheat itself. Anyways, it means no pizzas, burgers, kebabs, cakes or doughnuts. The pounds should fall off.
10. The footy season has started back up and my pub side has just won four in a row - I've switched to centre-back although to be honest it scares the shit out of me. Broke my glasses last week - I'm not good with my head (or my feet for that matter).

Mr. Angry Is In Town

2007-09-11T10:26:04Z

Q: Do you know what really grinds my gears?
A: The word 'celebrity'.

It's being passed around like a sexual disease in a brothel. Celebrity status used to be reserved for people who excelled in their field. Be it a supreme actor, a genius inventor, or a brilliant surgeon. Today, thanks to this ridiculous concept known as REALITY TV, we have complete nobodies with zero talent making more money than any of the aforementioned. The world is insane. Truly insane.

Today's soap operas are just as bad. The content has declined in quality and the so-called soapstars are being snapped up by television companies to present other programmes. It's insane. How can a soapstar be a better presenter than someone who actually has a skill in presenting?

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Channel 4's decision to drop Big Brother is the beginning of the end for it. This however won't stop the endless Pop/Dancing/Skating reality competition spin-offs that have been hogging our boxes over the last few years.

So basically, there's no hope for us. Soon I'll be a celebrity somewhere on a list and I'll be papped to death just like all the rest of them. I wonder if I'll be A-List? Nah, probably F-List. Does anyone remember when there wasn't a need for the phrase "A-List Celebrity"? That's when there was only a handful of them. Back in the days when human beings used 10% of their brains, not the 1% we're currently on.

Enough ranting... here's my latest film review...

Me, Library, Bored

2007-08-16T15:53:40Z

Tonight we're going for a meal in Chiquito's before seeing The Bourne Ultimatum at the Cineworld. I've got to take my notepad along as I'm reviewing it for Local Secrets - keep an eye on my Portfolio for the full review.

Oh, it's gonna be good. Been looking forward to it longer than I can think... The Times thought it rocked and he didn't just mean the camerawork. But warned that it ties your stomach in knots.

Punting, Polish & Poker

2007-08-08T09:21:15Z

There, you can fuel this blog now. In other news...

Punting - bit of a Cambridge tradition. We took two punts out, moored them, drank some beers and had a barbie. It was all good!

Poker - I've just joined a poker league (all for fun), and won the first round last night securing the pot with a low straight. Quite exciting.

Polish - Sampled some Polish home-cooked pub food yesterday too. Sausage and potato soup (Zurek) is the dog's bollocks. Check it out... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C5%BBurek

My Portfolio blog has won something!

2007-08-03T09:23:59Z

I won it for 31st July 2007 according to the fuel my blog website.
I wonder if my new blog friend, Calista, had anything to do with it. She introduced me to the site. Hmmm...
Anyways, if you're wondering what all the fuss is about, go here --- johnskibeat.blogspot.com!

I've buying up and blagging tickets to do live gig reviews. To confirm so far, I've got the Gallows in September and Dillinger Escape Plan/Meshuggah and The Black Crusade Tour (Machine Head/Trivium/Arch Enemy/Dragonforce/Shadows Fall) in November. Other possibles are Russian Circles and Killswitch Engage.
Anybody got any other ideas for reviews? I'll do cinema, album reviews, festivals, whatever.

In other news, I hate the Cambridge Congestion Charge proposal. There are petitions. Everyone should sign the one that applies to you.
City residents sign this petition to Cambridge City Council: Locals Petition

Workers, shoppers and visitors to Cambridge City sign this petition: Visitors Petition

Everyone should also sign this petition against the scheme to the Prime Minister: Government Petition

Thanks.

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY

2007-07-24T13:36:53Z

http://johnskibeat.blogspot.com/2007/06/download-festival-review-8607.html
It's been published! Big Cheese, Issue 90, August 2007.
Get in!

Freelance Update

2007-07-15T19:39:05Z

I'm in the process of securing review promises for a couple of interested magazines, which will keep the portfolio ticking over for the next few months.

Local Secrets, Cambridge's premier entertainment magazine (http://www.localsecrets.com), want me to review these places...

1. The Zebra's polish menu.
2. Gallows at The Junction on 23 September.
3. The Bourne Ultimatum movie.

There'll also be a chance to bandy about gig reviews soon for Russian Circles, High On Fire, The Dead 60s, and Mastodon.

And the big one, Big Cheese magazine (http://www.bigcheesemagazine.com), want me to review the The Black Crusade tour at Brixton Academy with Machine Head, Arch Enemy, Trivium, Dragonforce & Shadows Fall on 24 November. That's a massive gig and it looks like I may have blagged my way on the press list!

Busy, busy, busy...

Going Freelance

2007-06-27T14:22:14Z

Ok folks. This week is a big week for me. I've made my first inroads to changing my life and so far it's going well. I'm looking to get into magazine journalism, something I've been meaning to do for the last 5+ years.

I've started a Blogger site for all my published work. Eventually this will feature adverts and start earning me money dependent on website traffic.
In the meantime this journal may well become a bit of a graveyard for awhile.

So, go check out my Portfolio of published articles.

It's at http://johnskibeat.blogspot.com/ if the above link doesn't get you there. It's got all sorts of options and opportunities that LiveJournal doesn't offer... so go fly my pretties, play, comment, add.

Download 2007 - best festival ever?

2007-06-16T08:53:26Z

My first ever Download Festival. The last time I'd visited Donington had been for the one-day Monsters of Rock festival and that was in 1992 to see headliners Iron Maiden. And now here I was again, 15 years later, and Maiden still closing out the show as champions of British heavy metal.

I nearly didn't make it. After witnessing the deterioration of the once-awesome Reading Festival I had many fears that this would be just another riot-filled abomination of a festival; one giant excuse for an outpouring of male testosterone. But where Reading has its stench of burning plastic, Download has its sweet bouquet of honest toil. For Reading's uncontrolled rioting, read Download's effortless, yet necessary, security measures. For Reading's almost total non-sponsored alcohol lockdown, Download has its Village where you can drink whatever you so choose. But Download's real advantage over Reading is its bowl. Within the confines of its motorcycle track there is a dip down to the main stage with a significant raised bank on one side from which to sedately view your chosen band should you so wish. In short, everything that we hate about Reading doesn't get a look-in here.

A view from the hill
Click here for the rest of the article...

Kicking Librarians From Around The Country

2007-06-13T10:04:20Z

If I said I was playing in the Copyright Cup would you know what I was talking about? The name needs some explanation I feel.

Well, several months ago now eleven librarians from the National Library of Scotland (NLS) went in to their closets and each removed a pair of old, battered and, no doubt mud-encrusted, football boots. This innocent gesture began a chain of events that ended up in the NLS inviting three other copyright libraries to join them in Edinburgh for a magnificent tournament of football.

So it was on Friday 1st June 2007 that several football-obsessed Cambridge University librarians, one being myself, caught the 10:33 from Cambridge bound for bonnie Scotland and an exhausting weekend of advancing inter-library relations.
Click here for the rest of the article...

The Cambridge Beer Festival Report

2007-05-22T08:20:46Z

The CAMRA 34th Cambridge Beer Festival was already in full swing when me and my drinking compadre sidled up to buy our pint glasses. Once done, it was swiftly past the cheese and book stalls to the giant tent housing a mammoth number of beers - don't make me count them, there's hundreds. As a consequence, this report will simply be a miniscule sample of what's on offer...

Beer 1: Potton (Bedfordshire) Shambles 4.3%
We both agreed this was the best beer out of those sampled. It had a strong long-lasting hoppy biscuity flavour that tickled the taste-buds from beginning to end. Smooth, strong and very very long, if you will. Score = 9/10

Beer 2: Gribble (West Sussex) Pig's Ear 5.8%
The name says it all. Muddy rather than ruby. Definetly full-bodied but about as subtle as a brick wall. Score = 2/10

Beer 3: Keswick (Cumbria) Thirst Ascent 4.0%
This one crackled along the top of the palette but when swilled displayed a satisfying bitter and hoppy tingle throughout. A definite dry finish and a real easy-drinker. We concluded that the "Thirst Ascent" must be the way the taste began at the tongue and rapidly climbed to the roof of the mouth. Score = 8/10

Beer 4: McMullens (Hertfordshire) AK 3.7%
Watery, flavourless, distinctly lacking. And apparently a favourite since 1827. Score = 4/10

Beer 5: Potton (Bedfordshire) Gold 4.1%
We weren't blown away by this one. It had a subtle hoppy, yet lemony finish but was otherwise forgettable. Score = 6/10

Beer 6: Spectrum (Norfolk) Solstice Blinder 8.5%
Surprisingly light in colour, briefly fruity, but ending with a kick of almost vodka proportions. Really cloying and it was almost a relief to see the bottom of the glass. Score = 5/10

Beer 7: Milton (Cambridgeshire) Sparta 4.3%
Clean, strong, hoppy at first but then distinctly lacking in finish. Perhaps coming after the "Blinder" didn't help. Score = 6/10

THIS IS SPARTA!

Beer 8: South Hams (Devon) Hopnosis 4.5%
Appropriately named. Strongly-flavoured and pungently hoppy throughout. Not an easy-drinker in any sense and yet one I'd definetly turn to again on a fine summer's day - almost like drinking a golden field in a glass. Score = 7/10

Beer 9: Fox (Norfolk) Red Knocker 4.2%
Ruby, bold and beautiful. Malty and fruity at the same time. A cheeky one to end and a real pleasure. Score = 7/10

Also sampled but not enough to score (the ones I remember):
Beer 10: St. Austell (Cornwall) Black Prince 4.0%
Smooth and subtly dry. Almost like a creamy pint of Guinness without the cloying quality or bitterness. A jet-black easy-drinker to soothe the soul.

Beer 11: Hanssens (Belgium) Oude Kriek 6.0%
Strawberry beyond belief (although it's described as cherry). Also malty but anything else is blitzed by the fruit. Actually quite sickening.

Incidentally, the judge's festival winner was Fenland (Cambridgeshire) Osier Cutter 4.2% so we made a vow to return in the next few days if just to sample that one.

God, we were pissed.

Portugal - The Full Story

2007-05-08T15:31:55Z

The sheltered bay shimmered in the brilliant sunshine. The golden sand called out and I obeyed. As I sank into it's warm caress I felt a displacement in my soul. Begone, hard labour, for now is the summer of my content. Mmmmm... holiday.

Yep, it was good on that little beach. Praia do Castelo. Whisper the words in case others may hear and spoil the perfection. The sea was cool and the sun was scorching. The miniscule pebbled sand-stones were abrasive, but not in a bad way. The waves gently pushed me inland before slapping me like wet seaweed against the shore. It was awesome.

Our monstrous villa was a wonderful excess. Sleeps eight but housed just us four for the week. And it's shining glory, besides the private pool was the barbeque. Every day was barbeque day. Steaks, piri piri-marinated chicken, red Portuguese sausages and of course the humble burger. All accompanied with copious amounts of Superbock and Sagres beer.

So the beaches and the villa kept us happy. Then there was the rest. Well, nothing much was open despite the blazing sun and the fact that the place was teeming with tourists. Some of the waterparks and zoos were open but we just never got the time to try them out. Another week might have done it. We did make visits to Loule, Oura, Albufeira, Silves and Portimao however.

Oura - Whilst searching for Albufeira centre we happened upon this little place and parked up. It was getting dark and the pubs and clubs were buzzing - mostly with the humble English tourist. We partook of the atmosphere and the beer in a few pubs (one had a live band playing English/American pop-covers) before being dragged down a side alley by a local to a wonderful little bar. Free shots were set up and the night settled into a mix of good conversation, drinks and DJ'd musicology. We were occasionally interrupted by the odd chav on a bender but mostly it was incredibly pleasant.

Portimao - A short drive down to this bustling city whereupon we were spotted by a local chancer who helpfully showed us a parking spot and then demanded compensation for his efforts. This happened in several places and we eventually grew tired of it and soon saw through the charade. We worked out if you parked away from the centre and fled the car they couldn't come begging for euros. In Portimao we were greatly disappointed to find no evidence of boat trips and so settled upon combing the sweeping beach for a good spot to bathe and paddle. After a good soaking we headed for the port itself and a further attempt to locate some trips up the river or along the coast but there really wasn't anything - as we'd been led to believe. The charter boat office was shut up and there were no departure times anywhere to be seen.

Loule - We visited this on market day. We got there about 11:30 and made a quick sweep through the throng but there was so much to choose from we decided we'd shop just before leaving, so made our way into the centre where we found a very pretty fountain. There wasn't much else about so it was back to the market and lo and behold they were all but packed up! The market was shutting at MIDDAY! There were no signs to warn of such an early closure. We quickly went round the stalls but left disappointed again after spying a few fish and the odd bit of veg not worth haggling over. The hypermarkets would have to feed us for the week!

Silves - It really is a pretty place. The slow walk up to the castle took us up some lovely avenues and the castle itself was a very pretty sandstone terracotta. An accordion-player lulled us round the battlements and many photos were taken. We had a quick lunch in the nearby cafe before heading back.

Albufeira - Simply the most godforsaken place on the planet. It's worse than Reading at festival-time. Hundreds of English tourists touting you tickets for things you don't even understand. They just shout at you "Are you British?" "Want to buy a ticket?" "Come and eat in my restaurant". It's downright scary. Even the beach was being refurbished and the only sign of any watersports was a banana boat lying unused in a shed. We braved a cafe and an open part of the beach but decided our villa with its pool and barbeque was a much better place to enjoy the sunshine.

So, all in all, great company, great villa, great selection of beaches. I'll leave you with the best night of them all... Restaurant Por do Sol. Steak On A Stone. Sea Bass. Bottle of cheeky white. A lot of Aguadente (Firewater). And Liverpool squeezing past Chelsea in the Champions League Semi-Final. Magic.

Get me, I'm properly sick.

2007-04-17T15:10:40Z

Itching. Leading to all-over body hives. Bloodflow to brain restricted by swelling leading to impaired vision and eventual loss of consciousness.

Yes folks, I am allergic to _____ to an anaphylactic degree.

All you need to do is insert what you think I'm allergic to in the space provided.

Here's my guess:

Back on track.

2007-04-11T11:45:01Z

1. I did a face recognition test and apparently the celebrity I resemble most is John Travolta. How can it not be Simon Pegg?

2. I had an ace video night over Tranni's with mates. We got drunk and watched the excellent Kung Fu Hustle - quite possibly the best film to watch while drunk EVER.

3. A group of about 25 of us went bowling in Haverhole and then played drunkenly on the Nintendo Wii until the, ahem, Wii hours. I actually won a round of bowling (unheard of), and wasn't half-bad at the Wii Baseball either. Best of all was the fact that I got hammered two nights running and didn't even get so much as a hangover.

4. Off to Portugal soon. A whole villa to ourselves. S'gonna be aces.

5. [BORAT]Jagshemash![/BORAT]

My birthday sucked

2007-04-02T08:37:58Z

The plan: Go to the Tram Depot for a few pre-birthday drinks and a slap-up meal with some work friends and friends of work-friends. Then, go to the Man on the Moon to meet up with about 20 mates to watch AR rip through an awesome set whilst getting wasted on drink (some bought for me, some bought by me). Then head off to Kambar with said mates, stopping for some quick ones at the Eagle and the Bath. Then, moshing until the wee hours shouting "Bobby Davro" and "play Basketcase" whilst topping off the pints with a few well-placed shots. Then, retire to a quiet place and lie-down all happy and content at being a year older and a year wiser.

The reality: Eat (probably reheated hence) salmonella-infested chicken from local chippy. Throw up for 18 hours. Stagger down to Tram Depot at appointed time. Drink a few sips of tap water and eat a few nibbles of dry ciabatta. Head home, throw up, and go to bed.

The apology: I've spoken to a few of you, but to everyone who came out to celebrate my birthday I'm really sorry. I really would have been there but it just wasn't possible. I think what finally did it was the uncontrollable shaking. I promise next time I see you all that I'll be looking for those drinks you said you'd buy me and I'll be celebrating just like it is my birthday all over again, because to all intents and purposes, I'm still only 76. xxx

Schmoozing

2007-03-21T14:37:47Z

Down in our work foyer there is a free convention for product buyers. When this happens it means free food, free stationery, but best of all FREE BOYS TOYS.

I sidled down with my staff badge, schmoozed my way around looking interested, picked up a few crappy brochures and then started getting stuck into the food. As my bag filled with rulers, pork pies, pencils, vol-au-vents, mousemats and sandwiches I always kept my eyes on the prize and eventually came away happy.

I am now the proud owner of an unfolding desk clock (also tells the time in 16 different countries) and a proper Star Trek-style sliding calcu-ma-lator. Most flash. There's also several mugs and a cuddly toy, plus I'm in the hat to win a few star prizes.
A very productive day at work - oh yes.

The more I post, the more they know.

2007-03-12T16:32:04Z

Livejournal, Facebook, Bebo, LastFM, MySpace... I've so many profiles I'm starting to develop split-personality disorder. The worrying thing is they're all the same profile give or take a gnat's chuff.

To save time I'm beginning to cutand paste information across. This is starting to get just a little sad. Not only that but now the government can kill me more easily... damn.

My favourite youtube video, without doubt.

2007-03-08T13:00:52Z

Another Bill Bailey Triumph

2007-02-26T12:27:02Z

Went to Bill Bailey's 'Cosmic Shindig' in darkest dankest Watford on Saturday.
He had the full BBC Concert Orchestra behind him, his trusty theremin & flying V, plus one of Britain's best conductors/composers and seemed to enjoy it immensely - which made for a great show. He pointed out that there must have been some crosswires at the Beeb for them to allow him such a massive orchestra - a mis-directed memo perhaps, which drew many laughs. He also apologised several times to the orchestra for the strange audiences that tend to follow him around (more laughs and heckles).

He played 'Hats Off To The Zebras', 'Insect Nation' and 'Leg of Time'. They sounded amazing with full orchestral backing. The arrangements were perfect, unobtrusive, and much in keeping with the themes of the songs. The best was his brilliant love ballad which, as he said himself, "was how I always dreamed it should be played".

Their was also a full breakdown of each instrument and what songs they were most famous for, Lloyds (Bassoon) & Castrol GTX adverts (French Horn), etc.
Most interesting and very very funny.

After three encores (two with the orchestra, one with just Bill who was too excited to leave the stage) we all agreed it was an awesome show, and an honour to witness one of only a handful of BB gigs to feature the orchestra.

The only disappointments were the fidgety speed-sniffing goth in front and the ridiculously poor view from the stalls - a flat floor from front to back.

IQ Test

2007-02-02T14:22:10Z

Just did this little IQ test. Yes, I'm bored at work again.
Have a crack and let us know how you did.
Click to take IQ Test!

I bagged 129.
I skipped the advert and no I'm not sending off for the PhD-certified report. However, this IQ Score Interpretation appears to refer to me as Superior and classes me in the top 6.7% of the population. Well, I'm chuffed to bits with that. Still way behind Bart Simpson's 215 though.

In other news, I'm depressed about the fact that I seem to be frittering all my hard-earned money away on shit-all. That, and my ongoing job evaluation. 'Ongoing' as in 18 months. And 'evaluation' as in they're stalling on paying me more. Fuckers.

Okay, you win...

2007-02-01T15:34:28Z

This one tickled my fancy. Have a bash yourself!

When will your life peak?


0-15y	16-35y	35+ y

Your life will peak when you are between 16 and 35.

When will your life peak? at QuizGalaxy.com

Last post

2007-01-26T09:55:18Z

I'm slightly suspicious about the lack of comments...
I feel like I'm talking to myself. Don't think I'll bother anymore then.
If anyone reads this and would prefer me to continue - comment now.
If not, this will be my last post...

Sin City @ Electric Ballroom, London

2007-01-23T12:35:02Z

Dancing girls in cages? Very bizarre.
Never thought I'd ever end up in a club where the majority of people were ignoring the scantily clad laydeez and just having a good old mosh. It just seemed so out of place. The music wasn't all that hardcore to warrant such a seedy backdrop. I've been to much more grotty dives than this and they haven't felt the need to put slappers in boxes.

Still... a great night was had by all. No-one bailed early, everyone danced, and I think pretty much all of us ended up blotto. I was still wasted the next morning, giggling my tits off at the most trivial of things. I can be so childish sometimes - I really must start growing up.

Eel just posted a lovely comment on my MySpace, bless her. She must still be drunk!